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My Fair Lady

This is an old issue, I know.

What has brought my attention to the topic of women rights was when I watched one of the episodes of Commander In Chief on Hallmark. In that series, the president of the United States was supposedly a woman. Interesting, and she plans to take the stand for women rights to the next level despite the controversies arousing her brave statement. The debate was whether or not it was relevant to debate on an old issue, in respect of the state of today's society. Women of today have a better status than they did way back in the days of history old.

Women emancipation has been heatedly debated especially in the West throughout the time, and perhaps, the most memorable one was of the Suffragettes, fighting for the right of women to vote. Some places in Africa, in history, do not even recognize rape of women, as a crime, however, all of that has changed, thankfully. The question now is, are women actually 'emancipated' as we are all made to belief? well, it depends.

Although women's rights has never been an issue in Malaysia, but I do feel a certain 'gender discrimination' common in most culture.

I am not suggesting that women have to do men's jobs or to be like men to be their equals, but I do belief that it is fair that women are also viewed as individuals worthy of respect and are entitled to our own opinions, not merely as eye candy, for that matter.

Society has a way of condemning people into stereotypes, a suffocating culture that dictates how one must or must not act. The unnecessary unwritten laws of the social hierarchy.

Just because women can make housewives doesn't make us slaves to men. Yes, I can accept that women are identified by their economic status as a 'homemaker', but it is unfair to judge whether a not that woman is a 'Lady' by her capability to do house chores. That is not all that women can do. I am not saying that a woman should abandon her household duties to be equal. what I ask is for men to not view women only capable of doing those chores. That is not all that we are good for. Merely attending and serving men's whims are not the sole qualities and talents of women.

We have as much intelligence as men does. yes, I know, people usually refute that statement by saying that biologically, it is proven, and even in the Islamic religion it is proven.

I say, apologize for my language, bullshit.

Islam has never been unfair to women, that is why they ask us to cover up. The religion respects women above any other religion in the world. What has opened my eyes to this fact was simply by reading one of my dad's books by Adam Patel titled, Islam Is The Choice Of Thinking Women.

It is justified that in Islam, both men and women are treated just the same. I am not trying to prove that women are better than men, or either gender is better than the other, for that matter, please be clear.

In Islam, either the man or the woman is evaluated on their deeds and doings, not whether one is smarter than the other. They can both enjoy the same privileges. The only thing that differentiates the man from the woman, other than biological factors is their separate duties. These duties must not be compared, so it cannot be debated whether any of their duties is more heavier than the other, they are equally heavy, although not the same.

About the intelligence factor, men have a tendency to think in simpler ways, whereas women, tend to think..well..differently, or in some cases, surveys show that women prefer factual subjects compared to calculations. This does not prove that one is smarter than the other. This simply implies that some people do things better than the other, while the other can do other things better than the latter. God has always been fair.

I think, what determines one's success is not in the gender, but in their effort. Success in Islam, is the combination of Doa and Tawakkal. It is the same for all individuals, regardless of gender. You work for it, then you'll get it.

Lets say, if people say that women are less successful because biologically they are less smart, that means that all women are doomed to this unfortunate fate. Come on, this is just another one of the tricks that degrades one's motivation. Besides, there are also other factors that determines success, not intelligence alone.

like, do you tell your daughter, "aww..of course you can't beat him although you work hard, he's a guy, it's typical for guys to laze around and still get good grades, he's made that way."

It's like saying, it's futile to work hard because you know you'll never beat him, that guys have the genetic upperhand since the whole world is a primordial soup. Are you denying the Divine power in determining one's fate? Whatever happened to Doa and Tawakkal in the equation of success? That also goes the same for cheaters, they have violated the Divine law of Doa and Tawakkal as the key to success.

That is the reason why I was compelled to write this entry. I feel that women have still not been fully emancipated psychologically, at the least, in my own classroom. They willingly 'surrender' to the dominant male to keep 'order', and it is those females that earn a name in the boys' good books'. I feel that not many of them have the drive to compete with boys, or at least defend their own integrity as individuals in their own rights, but I bet there must be a difference in the all-girl boarding schools. How could they have done so well? Was it for women's pride?

I do not wish to invoke feminism in any female readers, honestly, no. When I speak of this issue, some people have labeled me a 'feminist', but from my readings, I have discovered of the feminist movements in the past, and in the West, especially, and from the knowledge of the cause that they are fighting for, I feel that they were absurd and against my religion. The cause of these feminist movements do not celebrate womanhood, they do not embrace it. Instead, they are going against nature's laws regarding women, I suggest you do your reading as well on this.

For me, it always comes down to the basics, it doesn't have to be hard. If in doubt, always go back to Islam's basic teachings, go back to the Prophet's hadiths, to the Quran. They are the guidance, and there is no question to their teachings to distinguish of what's right and what's wrong.

About this issue, I believe there is no fighting for required, we just need a few attitude changes from both the man and the woman herself.

For the men, do respect as us individuals who also has rights to her own ideas, not just toys or slaves.

Be honored that women in Islam have been appreciated for their true worth, and be honored that men are made the guardiansof these sacred treausres. That is the sole privilege bestowed upon men above women: the status as the protector, as well as physical strength to help them fulfill their noble task of protecting women.

To women, please take care of yourselves and especially, your DIGNITY. You can compete with men if you set your mind to it, as long as you do not cross the line that Islam has set for you.

That is all that matters. Honesty, justice and integrity is the way of Islam.

Although I do think the question now is not in women's rights, but in women's integrity. Women today are being exploited in today's pop culture, and many women seem to succumb to this inhumane exploitation, they accept their 'fate' in the eyes of the media, because that is how women of today 'should act'. Whatever happened to jihad? Now, that is a thought to be pondered for all women.



Abdi Syukur said…
Salam Nana,
Let me get this straight, How can a boyish girl like you propose such invocation like this!!!!
(haha, just getting on your nerve here. im hoping for a sliver of change in you..stop hammering the keyboard, for God's sake)
I totally support you on this topic, but the sole prospect of you keep making impression that boys are better will not inculcate changes in girls. (implicitly lahh. If you know what i mean)
Come on, you're tryin to make all these gender problems as objective as possible (i mean label one as this and the other as that), but nothing is that significant in our society.
Yes girls are prone to succumb to man's leadership, but in the Islamic perspective, women are the assets that'll keep men 'alive' for their task.
So you say, Islam is prejudice. Heck, it is Adam who wanted Eve in heaven in the first place, resulting in the mass reproduction of your gender (dont get me wrong..feel the intonation)
Feminists never won because of their ego to tolerate with men in the first place. So yes go back to the basic of everything.
oh and thanks for the comment, i've just remembered that judy isactually jOdy....i'll answer your q later.
Nana said…
I hope you read my post carefully.
I am not for feminists, I am just trying to mend the misconception in some men, who apparently do not understand the worth of women other than mere toys, or are subject to 'stereotypes'. I am not denying the fact that men are the leaders and women the followers, as it has been taught in Islam. I have updated that post, please read it once more. However, in terms of intellect, I think it is unfair for teachers or mothers or whoever it is to tell their daughter that they can't do anything about their studies because men will always be better than women. I am not asking for women leadership because it is against the women's duties in Islam, but what I am asking here is respect in terms of opinions. Other than that, I wrote that post in hopes that women will embrace their womanhood and strive to protect their integrity, as most women nowadays seem to surrender to the fact that they are men's toys. It simply disgusts me, and I don't think that men have a right to tell us how we should or should not behave, as what you implied in your reply by labelling me as a 'boyish girl'. You have yet to know whether or not I have fulfilled my duty as an Islamic woman. This fact will be most prominent in women, and also men, when the both of them are bonded in holy matrimony. Thank you for your frank comment. Wassalam.
LovesMeNot said…
Okay, the Abdi Syukur up there, do read the post again. You have clearly misunderstood everything.

"you keep making impression that boys are better will not inculcate changes in girls."
She's not making the impression that boys are better. In fact, she is saying that men and women are EQUALS, even though their duties are different.

"So you say, Islam is prejudice."
Nobody implied that. Before Islam, women were raped, enslaved and killed. When Rasulullah brought the teachings of Islam, women were respected and treated like equals.

"Heck, it is Adam who wanted Eve in heaven in the first place, resulting in the mass reproduction of your gender"
Are you implying that women are a nuisance? Like bits of gum people accidentally step on? You have NO respect for women at all.

Men only value women for sex. Example: in Stephen King's "Wizard and Glass", the lovers' romance was depicted as a series of sexual and physical attraction. In Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight", Edward Cullen and Bella Swan's romance was more than just physical attraction.
The way these two writers present their story reflects their personalities - the man values sex, mind you.

Okay, marriage is about sharing. In other words both man and woman share the burden in life - as equals.

What she means is that women should welcome ther true nature and that men should respect women as they are.

If your head is still too thick to process what she's trying to say, you'd better go see a neurologist.
mek kam said…
oh, i'v finally found the words i'v been looking for..
"ambitious, competitive, independant and confident women who retain their principles."


sometimes I am unable to convey my meaning effectively, so most of the time I experience misunderstood intentions. sheesh.

I don't make good explanations, mind you. I tend to beat around the bush because I can't find the exact words that I'm looking for. No wonder my essays suck.

It's an out-of-body experience not able to connect to my writing and thoughts.

how pathetic is that?
and I talk of confidence..
not practicing what I preach, much?
That just kills credibility, man.

If I were to be a POLITICIAN, I'd not publish this comment and figure out a way to disguise the fact that I'm pathetic.

no way, I'm not a politician.

arh..scratch that. This is a bumbling session...hmmph!
fatma nadia said…
hi kam.
you know, when I first read this sentence 'Women of today have a better status than they did way back in the days of history old.'
it got me, I agree with it.
long long time ago,
Mecca was a religious hub. In all religious centers, often fanaticism overrides commonsense and wherever religion has a stronger grip, women are discriminated. Mecca was no exception. It was natural that women in Mecca had a lower status than their Jews and Ansari counterparts and when they encountered the liberty that the women of Medina enjoyed, they wanted it too. This of course did not sit well with Umar and Muhammad, the two misogynist men of Mecca. The above conversation between these two central figures of Islam clearly shows that they were not pleased to see their wives getting used and enjoying the taste of freedom.� �

Arabs were not used to write their history. Very little is left of their pre Islamic culture and way of life. What the Muslim historian wrote of that time is all derogatory calling it the days of ignorance "jahiliya" and claiming that until the advent of Islam they were barbarians, who buried their daughters alive and were constantly in war. They say that women prior to Islam were worth less than camels and it was the Prophet who gave them the status of human being. The above hadith however tell us a different story. We can see that Arab women everywhere, except in Mecca, had more rights that Islam took them away. And it shows that the dismal treatment of women in Islam is not a Divine mandate but is how the Qurash used to treat their women. The Prophet being from Quraish himself was used to that kind of women abuse and to him that was the right way. Naturally he projected his is bias against women in his religion and his book.�

But there is also another factor that played a great role in the destiny of Muslim women; and that is the impact that the wives of the Prophet had on the Quran and its laws about women.

you can read the fact.

*and i hope it is not spoiling =)
InMine said…
Be careful with the various websites which on the surface look like an islamic websites but in actual fact are not...

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