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Children Of HAte and Vengeance

This is my last post before I am to be back for the Raya celebration (oh God, forbid!) and end-of-year exams (oh, be damned!) at school.
I know it's not a cheerful note to start off with, especially in this Raya season, but yeah, I was sort of grumpy all Ramadan.
My grumps still continue this season, I wouldn't know when it'll be gone, perhaps it'll last as long as the Big Red Spot storm on Jupiter's face? It sure has no sign of stopping since the last 300 years or so.

I am so sick and tired of human civilization. I feel like digging a hole and sleeping it. (watchamacallit? 'hibernate'?)

Up till now, it has been nine months and two days I'm in class 4 Alpha and I have still not got accustomed to it. The other day, I recalled, before the holidays, Cikgu Mazinah called me for an interview (the only girl, apparently) to help in her research project. The aim? How to improve and stabilize the boys' performance. Compared to the girls, whose results were holistically Average, but not Excellent, the boys' results were of a big divide between the Ultra-Excellent ones (no guesses who) and the 'Lesser' ones. The aim is to focus on boys because most are lagging. Girls were to be set aside, because we were considered 'okay' and the stress is supposed to be on the boys because they will be future leaders.

Well, despite of my knowledge in my religion (wow, that's a rare mention in my posts!) that boys are to be leaders and not girls, I, am NOT a feminist (despite my distaste for girly habits) but I feel that in intellect, there should be an equilibrium, because to me, those who work hard shall be appropriately rewarded, it does not matter whether you're a boy or a girl. yeah, people tell me that according to research, it has already been proven. so now, girls (no, some girls) conceive a perception that it is no use for them to try because boys will always be better than them anyway. What the hell? That so kills the competition here! And when those boys get in trouble and come crawling to us, (you see, people say that girls are hardworking) when their homework isn't done and begs for it, the girls just hand it in! Up to that point, the male species have already set their expectations of us, girls. they expect us to pick up after them! I know, they think they're macho by saying, "stay out of this, I don't want you to get involved. It's a guy thing", but I know that they do know that the girls will back them up. (you see, the female species is prone to compassion and curiosity. It's that "aww...kesian, poor baby, let momma give a big kiss to make it all better" factor here).

Why do we have watch the backs of those good-for-nothing-despite-good-(or bad)-results boys? we are not their wives! For God sakes, it's stupid how girls just give themselves in to the boys as if it were an obligation? Just because it was what 'girls are supposed to do' or what 'girls should act like'. that is dumb, dumb, dumb (this would make a catchy chorus of a song, hmm..).Where is your pride? It is not by just dumb-luck some people get the upper-hand in acing exams. If it is so, then, what should we blame on when our kids don't perform in the exams? "Blame it on the genes, cos your kid's got 'em faulty brain-cells from her momma!" Oh, for God's sakes, shut your trap!

This is for the guys of 4 Alpha, especially. I am so sick and tired of being confined to your 'stereotypes'. To all girls, DOWN WITH THE BOYS!

P/s: wow, this is a colorful post.

Comments

.:syahir:. said…
cool post!
fatma nadia said…
i like this!

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Sang Bayu Membisikkan Rinduku Kepada Samudera Cinta-Nya

Menatap kebiruan
yang disulam hijau permata
hamparan keindahan luar biasa

Mutiara jernih
ibarat sungai yang berlari
membasahi pipi
sekali sekala jatuh ke pasir

bayu dingin yang mengelus
membelai-belai wajahnya yang lesu
muram dek cuaca yang mendung
awan-awan kelabu
membaluti langit yang biru,
suram di lubuk kalbunya

meronta-ronta hatinya
mencari nikmat ketenangan

meronta-ronta jiwanya
mencari kebenaran hakiki

ingin saja disapu
debu-debu penipuan
yang mengaburi pandangan mata hatinya

rindunya pada Kasih yang suci menggamit lagi

ampunilah hamba yang hina ini.
"terkenang-kenang pula saat-saat merenung ke kejauhan di Pantai Cahaya Bulan tatkala melihat gambar laut.." =)