Reflection

HAha, coincidentally, reflection is also the section in my Physics textbook that I have been caught staring at with hardly of my homework progressing at all, and it's also the title of one of Christina Aguilera's songs, hmm.. Disney fans go "d-uh!" on me on this one!

Well, actually, I felt that my brain has gone into a total freeze during holidays. I could hardly function at all, apart from the basic life processes of breathing, eating, sleeping and excreting.. Maybe I haven't been in much deep thought lately as I have always done. yes, my teacher told me to take it easy and relax during the holidays, but for me, it's usually hard to stay away from all that thinking, I have so much on my mind..and not thinking is like..so... meaningless?
A Greek saying once goes, I think, therefore, I am.

Thinking justifies one's existance.

So, I've been meaning to post something for days now, but it usually slips my mind, or I just lost the 'feel' to it when I start typing the words, and sometimes, I just can't put my thoughts together in a beautiful string of words. There seems to be a lost connection with my capability to express what I feel effectively through the right selection of words, the Malay term for it in Malay literature, KOMSAS is 'diksi'. When you write a poem, that's what conveys the message of the poem. It is also the 'cosmetics' of that poem; the correct choice of words. It can also portray your distinct style.

The only drive that I have now is to drive my point home in an argument at all cost. I have been winning battles, but I have lost the war, in terms of courteousness and ethics. I seem to be chanelling my thoughts inappropriately through the wrong choice of words. I may have gained one thing, confidence to stand up for my rights, but I am standing in the battlefield alone and without ammunition, hoping that I am one of the one-man show legendary heroes that can take down an angry mob on his own. this called the Malay 'kesaktian', a privilege that sets him apart from others and make him special, without having to break a sweat. When people ask, "what's your secret to success?". He answers, "well, I was born that way, and you lot are not spared the luck." However, must I remind you, life is not a heroic epic.