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nukilan ringkas di hening pagi












Jam sudah menunjukkan pukul 12:47 pagi, aku kira sudah melewati waktu tidur biasa di asrama. Biasanya semasa cuti, waktu tidurku lebih lewat lagi, tetapi pada musim cuti ini, tidak terdaya hendak 'stay-up' biarpun untuk membaca novel mahupun bersengkang mata untuk bertungkus lumus menyiapkan kerja sekolah yang tertunggak.

Rasa letih lesu masih bersisa di tubuh. Maklumlah, cuti kali ini sarat dengan aktiviti, bermula dengan HKSBP di SSP CBJ (yang masih terbayang-bayang di mata), kelas-kelas seminar memandu kereta, ujian memandu, majlis penyampaian hadiah pertandingan esei anjuran Yayasan Kepimpinan Perdana, seminar SPM dan sebagainya. Tugasan yang diberikan guru masih lagi berbaki dan fisiologiku seolah-olah tidak mahu akur kepada tuntutan menyiapkan tugasan, sementelahan diri ini sememangnya sedar akan implikasi-implikasi yang akan menimpa diri sekiranya berbuat demikian.

Perasaan tidak keruan membelenggui segenap ruang pemikiran. Apa yang bermain di minda?
SPM? Muhasabah diri? Kenangan lepas? Atau mimpi kosong semata-mata?

Apakah cuti ini membuahkan hasil, sekurang-kurangnya sudah cukup untuk merehatkan badan agar kembali segar, bertenaga dan bersemangat untuk menempuh hari-hari muka apabila pulang ke kampus kelak, ataupun sekadar masa terbuang yang dihabiskan dengan melempiaskan 'nafsu' di alam maya? Aku menilai-nilai sendiri.

Kini jam menunjukkan pukul 1:00 pagi. Kukira sudah agak lewat, mata pula semakin layu. sepatutnya esok, aku perlu membuat persiapan terakhir untuk kembali ke sekolah.

Ya Allah, berikan aku kekuatan dan kesabaran untuk menempuh cabaran di masa hadapan nanti, ampunilah dosa-dosaku, bukakanlah pintu hatiku agar menerima hidayat-Mu dan ilmu yang diberkati-Mu, berikanlah aku ketekunan dalam pelajaran dan mengerjakan ibadah-Mu, berikanlah aku kejayaan sewaktu SPM kelak...amiiin..
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Kosong said…
sori kam x reply mesej. . x de kedit laa. . huhu. malas nak kuar topup. . all da best stadi. .!!
11:12 PM
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