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I know, many people ask me that.

Usual reactions always include, "you're damn good in writing and English, why not be a lawyer? It suits your rebellious streak."

"why not medicine? you look like the studious type, your results are capable for applying a course in medicine. your Biology's (grade) quite strong".

"why not an Economist? engineering sounds too 'lasak' for you."


"why not be a politician? you seem to be talking like one."

hell no. I will never ever be a politician.

okay, here are a few things I considered when making my career choice:

1. I LOVE money, but I love earning it, not calculating it, nor producing it. So, accountancy and business is out of my league.
2. I LOVE Biology, but the thought of cutting open a human being, it freaks me out.
3. I LOVE Debating, but only as a past time, not as a lifelong job.

so, why exactly Biomedical Engineering?

one thing, I can't let my passion for Biology go to waste. I like the part of Biology where we learn about the human systems instead of the plants, so that is why it's Biomedical and not Biotechnology.

I see myself working in hospitals, probably developing artificial limbs or in medical imaging for MRI's. Cancer treating devices are also damn cool. tissue engineering? not my thang. occasionally being in labs is okay, but being cooped up in one for years? no wayyy...I still want a social life.

I once joked with someone that I'd be selling off artificial limbs for paralympic athletes. You know, it's actually quite interesting if you watch shows on discovery channels that involve designing sports equipments to better an athlete's performance.

I know, it's a new field, and it can be quite challenging to find a job, and yes, it'll take a lot of effort for me to study since Physics and Add Maths is not my forte compared to writing. But I'm going to do what I feel like doing. I'm not going to live an unhappy life.

I know the road is long and it's a lonely one. Not many people choose this road, but I will pull through.

Yeah, I know sometimes people say what a big fat ego I have. I just choose this field because I can't stand doing the common things people do. Well, they could be half right, but it's not actually due to ego. Rather, when I was little, before I even knew how the cruel world works. You know, the one with insane competitions and demands, I used to watch all these discovery shows about dinosaurs and planets and such. I though to myself, how nice of it to do something unconventional. I mean, if every person did different interesting things, and they could share about the weird jobs they do. You can just do whatever you like, for example, you can be the bubblegum flavour inventor, and stuff like that. and you go around the neighborhood, and you go, "hey! that's neil the space probe guy!" or "hey! that's salmah from the mummy CSI". wouldn't life be more colorful? (do take note, I will now start to use American spelling)

but of course, in today's world, people would just scoff and say, "you're too idealistic and illogical. that's not what the world needs. the world needs machines. engineers that build megastructures, scientists who develop the solution for human immortality" okay, now I'm exaggerating.

am I being too ambitious? am I taking a bite more than I could chew? am I putting a lot on my plate? why can't I just settle for anything run of the mill?

I recalled when I was in Standard One. The Teacher was filling out this form, and everyone had to pick three career choices. I didn't really know what to pick, but my first choice was a doctor, second, a writer, and third, a fireman, becuase the teacher said, too many people already put down cops as their career choice.

The earliest ambition I had was in Kindergarten, where I proclaimed to the whole classroom that I wanted to be Sailormoon (I was so into that anime at that time), and everybody laughed at me, and I think I cried.

I stuck on with doctor for a long time, then I moved on to wanting to be a writer, but I knew at that time, both my parents didn't approve. Now, I don't think I want to be a writer because my writing is not as good as before.

I once wanted to be an astronomer, but when I think about it now, how many astronomers do we have in Malaysia? and do we really need one? and being cooped up in the observatory all day long is now not my cup of tea.

Then, I also wanted to be a geologist or an archeaologist, because I loved watching those shows about mummies and volcanoes. (those were the days when my television-watching and internet-surfing was a lot more academic than it is now). when I think about it now, archeologists are not exactly Indiana Jones. At the most, their adventure would just be about making a new discovery by finding a single prehistoric human tooth after hours and hours of playing with dirt. and yes, I am scared of worms.

I also joked that if all else fails, I'd be a comic artist, or a singer or a director, maybe. Haha, highly unlikely, if you ask me.

Sometimes, I imagine myself as a big-shot executive, walking about the office cubicles with my personal assistant trailing behind me with me files. haha. woof.

My career choice is not exactly driven by my strengths, or by my interest, because frankly, as I age, I don't know what I am actually into, and from my explanation in this post, I actually cancel out otehr career choices to rationalise the reason why I chose this field.
It may seem so, but just so you know, up till now, I am certain that I will not compromise my decision to study biomedical engineering for anything else. I do hope it is the right decision.

okay, if sometimes I talk about technology transfer, making things better, it is not my main goal, maybe it's just a bonus. the real deal for my career choice is simply because I feel like doing it. it caught my interest. come on, I am not a human savior, if I ever talked about that, that is bullshit.

well, in my more confident, arrogant days, I used to think that yeah, I'm the one who will develop the country, rah rah rah me.

okay, I notice that my ideas in my latest post seems incoherrent with unclear train of thoughts, rather a 'choppy' way of presenting my ideas. Truth be told, I feel that I haven't got my life into order yet, and it feels depressing that other people have been getting offers and I'm not getting any yet.

I wanted to write something, but I seem to have forgotten.


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