Have you ever heard of this:
"Hoi, kau nak tegur aku, kau tu bukanlah betul sangat."
"Kau dah sempurna sangat ke nak tegur aku?"
Being a prefect, I came across this quite often, but the context that I'd like to discuss for today is that of giving sage advice. Okaylah, in simplest terms, "tegur kesalahan" orang.
The typical human being would generally tend to judge the speaker first before listening to what he or she says, so, to some, they think that only some people have the authority to speak about certain matters and zone out from listening to other people who don't match up to their criteria of having the authority to speak about a certain topic.
I have to admit, sometimes I do judge people too, but those are mostly in cases where I need to understand why they would say such a statement or if I doubt the truth in their sentences. For example in doing literary criticism, I am required to do that. Even so, I am still able to admire their articulation of ideas and content despite their backgrounds. By doing so, I have a deeper understanding of how they came to their conclusion, regardless of whether or not I agree with them.I do believe that everybody has a right to their own opinion. The only thing in question is which opinions are worth being voiced out, and which opinions are best kept to yourself as well as how that opinion should be voiced.
I do value opinions especially if it comes to ideas or criticism for self-improvement, regardless if you're a close friend or not. An opinion coming a from a close friend might be biased, so I might need an outsider's opinion at times. At the same time, I have to also differentiate put-downs and insults with constructive criticism and to what extent must I listen to what other people think and to what extent must I exercise my intuition in making my own decisions. That's where my judgment comes into play.
Sometimes, I just ignore whoever that person is, and focus on the content of speech. How they say it might be taken into account to understand the context and intention of the statement, but if the person has a point?
No human being is perfect. That is why I even question authority. I try not to accept things blindly. I try to question everything only to the extent that with my questioning, I am confirmed of the justification of the issue at hand.
It's hard to tegur kesalahan orang. It's always,
"Kau tu ustazah ke nak tegur aku?"
People look at who you are instead of what you say.
Even if you are an ustazah, sometimes they still go, "Just because kau tu ustazah kau tu bukannya sempurna sangat pun nak tegur aku."
I have to admit, nobody is perfect, and yes, sometimes I use that excuse as well.
And I get that a lot from people in my school days, like, d-uh, I'm not actually a law-obedient student. But when I tegur them on certain things, I try to keep my word on those things that I tegur. I may not finish all my homeworks all the time, I may not come early to school, but when I tegur you about keeping quiet during the assemblies or something, I do put an effort to keep quiet as well. It's the least I could do, since I'm not perfect either, but I do have a point.
It's the same case in religion. I may lack the knowledge, but with the knowledge I have and the observations I make, I do have a few points to say that I think might be important for your self-reflection, and I say all those things not all of them are in spite. I care about my religion, which is why I say something about it. Whether you take it in, that's your choice, I won't feel offended if you don't, I just want to be heard, at least, you have something to contemplate.
I used to question myself, why do I have a need for my opinions to be heard? Like, I don't have an authority for that, and so, I shouldn't say anything about it. I am a Muslim, and my religion is my obligation.
I'm not talking about tegur pasal solat and all that, I am just as bad as that. Yes, I am fully aware, but I do make remarks about some attitudes of Muslims like those who are "holier-than-thou", and some Muslims find that very offensive.
I believe everyone is entitled to their opinions, but you don't have the right to shove it down people's throats, because you have the authority to speak on things while I don't.
I agree that authority does give you credibility to say some things, but that does not mean anything else that doesn't come from you are all thrash. Interpretations of what you say may also have value, and of course, there will be many many interpretations.
Too often I see people,
"Aku setujulah dengan Mat Kias, ada betul gak dia cakap camtu."
"Eleh, kau tak yah bajet bagusla, kau pun tinggal solat."
Doesn't it not kill you?
Suddenly everyone is shut up by their own imperfections. They are not entitled to say anything because they're all imperfect. When is this going to end?
Well, lainla kalau orang tu duk ngata orang ni tapi tak sedar dia pun dua kali lima, then you can call it the kettle calling the pot black right? But that's just so that the person realizes it right? That doesn't mean that the issue is no longer relevent and does not need to be addressed because no one is "flawless" enough to say something about it.
This is perpetual. It won't end. Like irrational numbers. Pi, I feel your pain.