I just realized I haven't been here a while. So today I was buyin' Dominoes pizza and this guy followed me from Maybank. I saw him outside Maybank and he came into Dominoes after me. Basically his story is he gotta pay for medical expenses cuz he got beat up and lost his money, I could see his black eye, and he was trynna get money from sellin' some printouts with some kalimah for 20 ringgit, of course he asked me first if I was muslim. In my mind, I would like to tell him I wasn't, because, well, that's kind of the easiest way I brush off people who ask me if I had religious beliefs. So, after he told me his story, I would have just you know brushed him off as I usually do to hecklers, and who knows how legit is his story, I've had too many experiences being duped, he said he really needed it cuz he was hungry, so I just offered to buy him a pizza, that's usually my SOP when it came to people like this back in Canada (if they weren't legit, they'd refuse ask you for your money anyway), but to my surprise he allowed me to buy him a meal. So, I was like, ok. I've had way more nasty experience compared to positive experiences with, let's just bluntly call them beggars, so I'm naturally skeptical and not charitable, and I generally have a cynical view of humanity. I'm not saying I'm less cynical after this experience, but it suddenly occurred to me if I were in that position, God forbid should something happen to me, do I have the guts to go up to random people and pray for their kindness to help me, especially with my very cynical view of people? Idk I'm just generally not a "nice" person who actively gives to charity because I feel like I'm a charity case too sometimes, and well, people will always take advantage of each other, so I find it hard to trust people. It just occurred to me, in a very real sense, what if that happened to me, and if I were to approach myself in that situation I know I wouldn't believe my story and I would have said no to giving myself help. so, in a way, it's not a clear cut line of what is the right thing to do or if a person is legit or not. you will never know.
Betrayed by the worst atrociously shameful mark of femininity, the shy, embarrassed, immature, self-conscious, awkward, school girl blush in the presence of a drop dead attractive member of the opposite sex. *facepalm* I'm gonna be fricking 21 years old, hormones, please stabilize.