Transience

1. impulse control 2. anger management 3. gain up to and maintain weight at 40 kg at least. 4. reduce spending on clothes. 5. survive one more semester of cpu and secure a place at canadian uni. gradute with a 90+ average and passing ielts with band 8. 6. less swearing 7. be a proper muslimah. oh ganti puasa 10 days. 8. be more kind to people 9. be more grateful of blessings in life 10. complain less. 11. no more boyfriends. no more relationships. no more flirting (yeah, like I do! pfft) 12. BE A NERD once school  starts. 13. reduce posting weird irrelevant Facebook status. will only post work-related statuses.

First of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR! May it be a great year ahead for all of us. Okay. What do I think of my friends? To be fair, I won't name anyone. SKLK friends: I've known you guys for so long, and some of you ended up finishing highschool together, so I wasn't really close with you guys, but thanks to Facebook, we meet again, and I'm glad I'm still friends with you. Some of you did leave quite an impression on me. Thanks for being part of my life and play games together in my lifetime as a kid. Faris friends: yep, at first thought it was, "I can't wait to get out of this hell and be through with you!" I hated the jaga tepi kain orang, close-minded-ness, but at the end of the day, here I am, bersyukur gila-gila I've met people like you, and I still go s earching for you guys. We've been through growing pains together, and I'd rather not have anyone else to go through it with except for you guys. You guys are one of the most IMPORTA...

1. FREEDOM FROM SCHOOL for 7 months. 2. sakit jiwa dengan lesen. I had to be tested 3 times. 3. Wanted for PLKN. First time, they were supposed to send me to Kuala Lipis, but I asked to tunda because I had Sime Darby interview and PKTR. PKTR one of the best times of my life. Second time I was supposed to go to Sematan, Sarawak. I didn't go atas alasan scholarship interviews. The third time they wanted to send me to Sarawak again, but then they changed to Kem Tegas Mesra, Perak. Tunda because I was going off to college. Entahla if they'll still remember me after I finish my degree. Otherwise, I go find a man and get married. hahaha. no lah, joking. 4. sakit jiwa dengan scholarship applications and interviews. and ni pun dapat rayuan JPA. alhamdulillah. lesson learned: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS INSTANT GRATIFICATION. you work your ass off even though it seems like everybody else has it easier than you. 5. Being in a relationship where you guys are totally poles apart from...

What would you find in your bag? Okay: 1. wallet. I don't know why I never call it a purse. 2. pen. probably out of ink. 3. apa dah orang panggil, the penyata that the cashier gives you after you've purchased something? receipt? 4. shillings 5. folded notes 6. candy wrappers and that's just my handbag.

A letter to your parents. Ala...aku seganlah nak post kat sini..

Something I Crave For A Lot 1. cheesecake 2. swiss roll 3. kek lapis sarawak.

What makes you different from everybody else? Well, so far, I've never met anyone else with an uncontrollable temper like mine. Yep, it's always that temper of mine that gets the attention, which is not exactly a good thing. People will remember me as the crazy cussing chick who likes to spark controversies and rebel. duh.

A picture of something that makes you happy. cute animals. apart from food la.

Someone you imagine being with/ marrying in the future. Sh*t. What kind of question is this? I'd rather not answer it. No. Can I have Gordon Ramsay?

Nicknames you have and why you have them. Earliest is "Nana". That's because when I was small, I used to insist everyone to call me "Nana" and it stuck. I think I wrote about this before, so I don't want to do it again. Next is "Kakak", that's because I'm the eldest. Then, in school it was either "Kamilah" or "Nurul" for those who are not close with me. In Form 1, it was "N.K." That was because I wrote my initials on my book, and Alia started calling me that. In Form 3, it was "Kam", because Mek Ya started calling me that. Anything else? I don't remember.

Nowadays, there seems to be many things on my mind: 1. my future 2. lots of other stuff especially regarding morals, ethics and religion.

Plans/dreams/goals that I have. Short term: 1. Finalize OUAC. Intermediate: 1. Study Physics really well. That goes the same for Calculus and ENG4U. am so gonna be a nerd when school starts. 2. Do well on my IELTS and OSSLT. Target for IELTS band 8. (should I do the essays I owe Miss Chin?) 3. Graduate CPU with a 90+ average. Long Term: 1. Graduate with a Biomedical Engineering degree. (the plan is to go all the way to Phd). 2. Get a job. Fun stuff: 1. Learn to play a guitar and post one song on youtube. 2. learn to drive properly. 3. go places in Canada. marriage? I'll leave that aside. I'm a girl on a mission. There's too much to experience in life than being tied down. hopefully all goes well. amiiiin

Someone I want to switch lives for one day and why? hmm..I don't feel like switching my lives with anyone, but oh well, since it's just for a day, I'd like to switch lives with a person who goes through hardship, like, really miskin, deprived of laptops and all this luxury, opportunities and education. I don't know who that person is specifically, but whoever who fits in the bill will do. Maybe by doing so, I'd appreciate my own life a lot more? and complain less?

Another picture of you. I miss school. period.

First 10 songs on my ipod: Fragile-Sting My Baby Left Me- Rox You Can't Take Me- Bryan Adams God Is The Light- Raihan and Yusuf Islam Breathe In- Lucie Silvas Alien Nation- Scorpions Well, Well, Well- Duffy Wish I- Jem I've Heard Your Love Songs- Marit Larsen Jika- Melly Goeslow. So, how's this playlist?

A picture of me and my famiy.

A letter to a person who has hurt you recently. I DID write a letter, but I didn't send it to him. And to post it here is too public. So, I guess I won't do this one. And case closed. Move on.

How I found out about blogs and why I made one. Hmm..it all started after UPSR. My dad made me a blog and named it Nana's World (I have retained the original url). Nana is my pet name. I didn't know why when I was small I insisted people to call me that and it just stuck, but you rarely hear it nowadays. "Nana" is for my family members' use ONLY. Since then I started posting my poems on it. I didn't blog that often, well, what could a twelve-year-old do with a blog? Over time, I started blogging more frequently because I kept writing stuff and I started to have many things on my mind and many things just happen that I have to write it down. I started posting my essays and it became sort of like a public diary where I vent, and sometimes I just blog about my opinions or share info, post photos. I used to criticize my school in my blog ;) oh, and Malays. The blog name changes over time, well, malas nak mention. I guess that's about it for now.

Another picture of you and your friends. My debate team mates. Well, actually most of them are BM debaters, but I miss debating so much!

Songs I listen to when I'm Happy, Bored, Sad, Hyped and Mad. Well, my song selections are seasonal. I listen to almost everything, and my music choice spans from 1960's to current and from heavy metal to jazz. Sometimes its goody-two-shoes, sometimes it's bad ass rock and dirty lyrics. It all depends. But this is what I can come up for, for now. Happy: Sheena Easton- Morning Train Bored: Eliza Doolittle - Skinny Jeans Hyped: 10 000 Maniacs - Rainy Day Sad: Roy Orbison and KD Lang- Crying Mad: The Used- Pretty Handsome Awkward So, how's my playlist? hahhaha

Something I'm Proud Of these last  few days. I survived one semester of CPU. my posts are getting simpler day by day.

Short Term Goals For This Month: 1. Settle my uni applications. 2. Study Physics. 3. Read up my Add Maths module. 4. Improve my religious obligations. 5. Swear less. 6. Anger management. 7. I can't think of anymore.

A picture of someone or something that has a great impact on you. Hmm...looking at the most current scenario in my life, I do have something in mind, but it'd be sensitive to talk about it openly like this, because I'm not sure whether I was affected positively or negatively by it, but let's keep it at that, shall we? To compensate, I don't have anything else in mind. I could possibly put up anything like high school, or some incident that happened in high school, but it'd be just typical. who wouldn't be affected by highschool eh? I'll put up something when I think up of one.

My Favorite Superhero: no need for introduction. It's obvious who he is. well, I could have put down some other cartoon because I watched a lot of cartoons. I grew up with Batman, Superman, Spiderman, Transformers, Ultraman, Power Rangers, Disney heroes, Sailormoon and lots more. I chose Batman because, well, I've seen all the Batman movies and he's cool because he doesn't have any powers, yet he's still competent. He's sort of an anti-hero, and he has a scandal with Wonder Woman in Justice League, no lah, I'm joking. I love his gadgets and his cape. Imagine being a billionaire and you're so bored that you use your money to fund your own hi-tech gadgets then you go undercover fighting crime. How cool is that? A more realistic take than just hoping for a radioactive spider to bite you and change your DNA or get zapped by gamma radiation that your skin turns green. However, I think the Hulk is a closer approximation to my personality. Refer to pos...

A picture of somewhere I've been to: I could have just added a picture of some place exotic, like a holiday getaway or something, but I came across this picture of us at Zah's school and I kind of liked it.

1. Apa benda paling penting dalam hidup korang? Keluarga dan makan. Tanpa dua-dua aku tak boleh hidup. haha. 2. Benda terakhir yang korang beli guna duit korang? Makanan. 3. Dimanakah tempat korang akan langsungkan perkahwinan korang dan apakah temanya nanti? Not in my plans yet . 4. Adakah korang sedang bercinta sekarang? No. 5. Berapa lama korang akan mencintai kekasih korang? since it's "akan" and I don't have one for the time being, and if I correct the question from "kekasih" to "husband", I'd say, as long as the marriage lasts. 6. Di manakah korang selalu jumpa kekasih korang? wtf?? 7. Novel/buku/majalah terakhir dibeli? Wicked.  8. Apakah nama penuh korang? what the heck? tak yah le tau. cukup orang yang kenal aku je tahu. 9. Antara mak dan ayah, mana korang lebih mesra? selalu tanya soalan macam ni. isy.  10. Namakan orang yang betul2 korang nak jumpa dalam hidup korang? erhhh...nobody in mind for the time...

A Bad Habit I Wish I Didn't Have. I wish it was bad habits, I would have listed out a lot! Procrastination, laziness, my habit of taking things for granted, and lots more. But two of my worst enemies is the fact that I am an egoistic person and my anger is beyond control. I don't know why I'm so obsessed on having a stand on everything, and I have this need to express my opinion in every chance I have. I just can't shut up unless I don't have my say. I guess it's the fact that I've always been the consult of many during my school days, it gets to my head that what I think was important. And yes, having a blog is a sure guarantee I get to express my opinions all the time. Regardless of whether or not it'll get me in trouble. No worries, I stay away from politics nowadays. I hardly take much interest into it. Imma go to Canada. So, anyway, my problem now is not being able to keep my mouth shut. Most of the times, my opinions are downright "...

A picture of me and my friends: High school graduation.

The meaning behind my blog name: I've had many blog names in the past. It all started off with Nana's World, and so far, I've maintained my url as such. Nana was my pet name. I didn't know why when I was small, I insisted people to call me by that name. And it was my dad who gave that name. I was only 12 when my dad opened up this blog account. Then after yearsss.....I can't remember in what year, but towards the end of my highschool years, I changed it to La Tahzan, which means "don't be sad" in Arabic. I was crazy over Ayat-Ayat Cinta that time, and they keep giving motivational books as prizes for doing well in your exam. I was jealous that my friends got better books than I did, like La Tahzan and Quran Saintifik. Later I changed it to Gambar Gajah on impulse. It sounded funny. Now, I've changed it to Crossroads and A Rush Of Blood To The Head. Crossroads because I am at an important phase in my life where I have to make important decis...

Yeah, I'm doin' that 30-day challenge thing for fun. 1. Recent photo of me. (I tell you, this is very recent at the moment I am typing this post). I went out with Jaja and Che Dah today at Midvalley. There were Christmasy decorations and lots of huge teddy bears. I ripped out that bear's heart. hahah. no lah. 2. 15 facts about me. haissyyy...narcissism alert! 1- I hate Taugeh. (obvious fact number one) 2- My biggest enemy is my temper. 3- I love Yellow Cab pizza, thanks to Eddy for introducing it to me. 4- I love keropok lekor forever. I will not tire of eating it. 5- I love spaghetti. Another food fact, I must be hungry. 6- I believe in female empowerment. 7- I believe that my religion is not a form of oppression, nor is it rigid and limiting. 8- I am a born rebel. 9- I tend to hurt the ones I love.  10- I am currently experiencing an identity crisis and a mild split personality disorder. 11- I have vowed to stop cussing. 12- I am proud of my ability to speak Kel...

You're all free to scrutinize on this issue. I am taking a neutral stand on this issue and I am open for criticism, opinions and ideas. The more unconventional the ideas are, the better. Recycling typical arguments wouldn't do for me, I am well aware of them.

The Conference on Secular Islam by Andrew Bieszad Islam began as one of many religions in Arabia. It taught simple monotheism, emphasized divine justice, and encouraged helping the poor, widowed, and orphaned. Mohammed was convinced that he had divine truth, but few paid attention to him except to mock him. After twelve years of unsuccessful preaching and persecution, he went to Medina with his followers in 622 AD. There he unsuccessfully attempted to convert the city's inhabitants. Historically, this failure marks the beginning of the politicization of Islam and the subjugation of non-Muslims within Muslim-ruled areas. Mohammed's revelations changed. He began talking about Islam as both a religion and a divinely mandated way of life for mankind, to be imposed by force if necessary. Politics married theology, and Mohammed started a bloody military campaign to conquer and convert Arabia. This spelled the end of religious pluralism in the Arab and Muslim world. It has been almost...

I know Finals is not over yet, but one week is a HUGE gap! Here's my re-write of the Life's Brief Candle poem in Macbeth for English. The theme was either sports, politics, or some other random thing. Tomorrow, tomorrow and tomorrow, Stuck in this monotonous routine from day to day, To the last coffee break of my pathetic life. And yesterday's news have lighted fools The way to complete ignorance. Off, off the TV! Life's but a false minister, a poor governer, That struts and frets his tenure in the office, And then is heard no more. It is a financial report, Drafted by an idiot, full of fancy statistics and graphs, Signifying nothing.