Sunday, March 30, 2008

Field Of Dreams

whoa...I'm fresh out of ATP rite now, haha, as if that's possible!
so much facts and so little time. I got loads off the net and have yet to print them.
If i did, I'd already have a pile, neatness not guaranteed, by the side of my bed.
a bit heavy to digest and despite the groing quantity, it is still not enough.
I have to find more at school, that is, if I can.
The ICT facilities there are not really satisfying. I mean, yes, there are plenty of computers, but in terms of usage, totally ineffective. If I wasn't tempted to the dark side by the friendster, I could have probably still enjoyed doing net searches like I used to.
Now it seemed like a drag! I still feel excited over the goldmine of information I got, but my interests were hindered significantly by the haunting thought, "how am I suppose to make time? there's no time! you got notes to read"
drat! If it were lower secondary, I'd easily aced it without even the need to do any revision at all. This is surely not a brag. I only did revisions to minimise careless mistakes and optimise merits.
seriously, I, no all students should be given the freedom and the flexibility to do EXTRA reading! people have to read! why must it only be limited to debaters only because it happens to be an inevitable obligation they have to fulfill?
where is the global awareness??
so, starting from today, I will now sow my seeds for the future like I have always done.
only this time, I have genetically altered them so that they are of better quality and hopefully, more prepared to germinate for a more promising tomorrow.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Bubbling Under

I've just returned from my first trial of candy making. It turns out that prototype 1 and 2 of Fever-Cooling Candy didn't turn out right, so I guess it's back to the drawing board to improvise.
I've been listening to A Beautiful Lie by 30 seconds To Mars. It was all about global-warming and when I flipped the channel to discovery, I was bestowed a shocking revelation of how a tilt of a few degrees in the earth's axis could change everything. wow. It's strange that nobody gave a damn about it in my cotton candy-walled school.

Friday, March 28, 2008



and the likes..

no, I am not a victim of such labelling cases, although I was once deemed a 'know-it-all at primary school'. who gave the authority for people to label other people like that?
I strongly believe that classification by stereotypes limits any individual.
why can't everybody be in a class of their own?
I mean, if we tend to label people, it's like giving color tags to people. like in a library, the librarian would say to a toddler, "those books are tagged red. they're adult fiction. stay away from those"

and talking about fiction, I've recently finished reading another one of Syakir's novels, The Devil Wears Prada, yes, like the movie, only that I haven't seen the movie yet.
At a whole, it was totally funny and witty. sometimes, it does get a bit tiring to read about how poor Andrea makes her best attempts to cater to Miranda Priestly's impossible whims and impress her. It's a cliche'd rags -to-riches story with the small town girl making it big. filled with all things girly and perhaps the best chick lit I've read so far.

Saturday, March 15, 2008


is it a blessing? or a curse?
I enjoy it, yet I despise it
what is wrong with me? do I have a mental condition?
I do not know why I couldn't enjoy anything at my school. It feels like a prison.
It forces you into these cocurricular stuff only because you are the only one who can. it has this mindset that, "okay fine, we can't make it with so many competitors, let's pick something that doesn't have many competitors and we can boast that our star player(the only player!) got third place(3 out of 3) for state level, and almost made it to the nationals."- MSSK Golf
if you read that statement without the words in the bracket, I bet most people would be awed with the achievement, but the ugly truth is that wretched school knows how to lull itself the sleep. I'm not a great player, then why did they set up this fake reality around me?
I am like the 'Jaguh Kampung'. What is the true measurement of an achiever? the best there does not mean that they are the best overall. they have to wake-up from that sleep, not dream, and they need a dose of exposure to the outside world.
other school debate teams have practice every week. why can't that damn school find time to have practice? why do I feel so restricted there, yet i feel that the rules are comparatively lenient even to day schools? i think, the restricting factor is, ladies and gentlemen, is the mindset. (again) make a change, people.
Ok, looks like it's good bye, blog. Till next time.


WHOA!! another Paramore song title for is an excerpt from a Friendster bulletin. yes, it is the ugly truth that seems to irritate me so much. face it, everybody's a racist, even me, I admit that. But, Malays, I beg you, p-l-e-a-s-e be rational? haha, another post directed to the Malays. plaese, I am utterly disgusted with your attitudes, I am saying this despite being a Malay myself.

Date: Saturday, 15 March, 2008 8:27 PM
Subject: reply to aimie aimiot's post
Message: ...DEAR IR AKUKAMUDIA..saya
setuju sgt2!!

RM250000 -

I say.."konklusinyer..Melayu kene celik mata
n belajar pandai2 idop sendirilaa. xkn
nk duk kt pedalamn kot? so wat kene
bersaing pun??? x matinyer..xkn mealyu
hilang di dunia.."

Review, Review, Review

Okay, it has been a while since I wrote reviews. it is rare that you find me in good moods nowadays. Well, for this year, I've read a few books. after a few years back of missing out in reading, I make a vow that I'll read a minimum of ten novels per year, considering the little amount of time I have left. No, I don't mean reading little teeny-tiny books. I'm talking about 200 hundred pages ++ with size-12 font, and that doesn't include magazines. And to get me on the reading habit, I started borrowing books from Syakir, thank God, bless him. The first book I borrowed is Paolo Coelho's The Alchemist. The description's real good. It's the most religious book I've ever read all my life, okay, not exactly religious, but very heavy with insight and philosophy, which I know, Syakir adores so much. The next one is The Mystery Of The Dog In The Night Time. I forgot who wrote it, but it was interesting because the narrator was a spastic child. A bit heavy to get through, but I can't really say that, because maybe I wasn't 'feeling it' when I read it, because I was in such a hurry to finish it, as I read it at school. The third novel i've read is Stephen King's Christine. It wasn't as sexually implicit to his other books, but it still had very graphic description of women's bosoms. if you overlook the language, the plot is actually kind of good, and yet, the most satisfactory ending i've ever read in 3 years, not that I read, but well, the fifth installment of Artemis Fowl and the HP finale disappointed me, didn't it. Ok, talking about HP, I am just so damn frustrated that I still haven't watch the fifth installment yet, no, it's not due to the lure of HP's kissing scene, i've never missed the HP movies, ever! and I'm putting high hopes that it's better than the book. I can congratulate the fourth movie by proving itself better than the book, or maybe it's simply because I'm tired of Harry and Hermione, but I'm starting to like Ron from the books. Ok, so it's back to school for me tomorrow. Man, doesn't it feel good to vent in here!

The Car Owner vs.The Car Washer Attitude

suddenly, I have this identity crisis. Like Hamlet says, 'to be or not to be? That is the question."
Ever since my BM teacher, Cikgu Mat pulled a million-dollar brainstorming slot question at me: Are you proud to be a Malay?
well, I am left with no option than to say yes. I am a Malay. And then, he asked me, "why?"
well, on second thought, I don't really know. I haven't the foggiest idea, but then, why do I rave on and on, assuring myself that I am a Malay?
What is my purpose?
suddenly when I find myself in a 100% Malay situation, I tend to indulge in the worst of Malay-ism:
the car owner vs. the car washer attitude.
yes, there are successful people and people who have failed, they reason. but if everybody were to succeed, then who would fail? yes, there are people who own big cars and there are people who are paid to do the dirty work, washing the car, but that doesn't mean they own the car, do they?
why did these Malays let themselves be outbested by other races? why do they just want to lose and let other people get the better of them?
why? why did this attitude persist? this horrible mindset?
at school, the girls don't even make an effort to compete with the boys, just because the boys were more dominant in my class. they'd see me as a person who is just lunatically ranting on a lower grade compared to my male rival. what is so wrong in competing with a guy??
"you can't beat them," they say, "they're guys."
so what?? if there was one race that degrades the female species, it has to be Malayan females! they have this belief that no girl should be superior than the other, we are one, they say. yes, one in the rut!
we can do a lot better than this. I think that explains where I have learnt this pessimistic outlook- the Malay way of thinking itself
come on, people! look to new horizons, break the habit and make new frontiers!
it is not the world that makes the man, it is not the house that built the man!
discard this stupid mindset and get moving!
quoting Margeret Thatcher, "equality does not exist if one thinks that he is superior or inferior to the other"
think about it.
hell with the new economic policy, we wouldn't need it if everyone stuck to this quote!


okay, I sound like a damn racist in the previous post, well, I wasn't that cheerful anyway. Suddenly, after the public speaking competition, my worst holiday yet seemed to turn around for the better, if you can overlook the fact that I'd be going back to face the first term exam, but suddenly, I can just go out there and say that..I'm okay.

Thursday, March 13, 2008


I hate politics. I never gave a damn about it before this.
I used to think that it was all about stupid people running the country.
That was, until I came to know about Mahathir, the one and only reason why I have stayed faithful to my race that I endlessly criticised and despised al these years.
I've noticed a pattern in History of Malaysian politics. When it came to winning the election, it has always got to do with winning with the favor of other races.
why must it be so? it's as if the other races have the greater power over Malaysia.
c'mon! it's our country! its so pathetic that in each manifesto evryone semua macam nak mengampu each other. empty promises that supposedly will cater to every races' needs. even before merdeka there were more non-malays than there were malays, which made it necessary to gain favor from the non-malays to get votes.
okay, I admit it, I'm an ultra-Malay.i want nothing but the best for my people, despite my criticism. I'd rather not be any other race than malay, but at times, I do feel EMBARASSED for being a Malay. God, get a move on, you leisure-indulging Malays!!! Must you wait until the status quo be relinquished? must you sleep until Malaysia is colonised again, from inside out?? must you be second (or last) to these immigrants?
don't be blind, Brethren! Oh, dammit. i hate being in an all-Malay school, or a Malay dominated school. They are all sleeping with their eyes open! we certainly have not gained the ultimate power here, people. just because we're living in MALAYsia, doesn't mean our power will be absolute forever. times change and I'm honestly so disappointed that DAP won a lot, not to say that I am in total support of PAS or BN. but, please, the Malays should buck up a little before we become extinct or something. hold true to our values and revamp our attitudes. may the world be our oyster.

Misery Business

yeah! the new song in my head! rock on, Paramore!
This frustrates me, where have all my beautiful posts have gone to?
Now I don't really blog much and all I could ever come up with are my rantings.
What's worse, most of them are not grammatically correct and my punctuations have all gone haywire. Have I not learnt language ever in my life??
In contrary to my sister's blog, yeah, she seems to rant a lot in it to, but I've never seen someone vent her anger so beautifully ever in my life, in a blog!
well, I could vent my anger in this blog too, if i wished, but I'd edit out the four-letter words I'd be tempted to display, and all that's left of it are just dry, cold, flat self-repeating words that my subconscious record-player would play again and again in my head like that new, okay, not exactly new, Paramore song, Misery Business.